Let it Snow!!

This morning we had our first snowfall of the year. It snowed several inches before the sleet started to come down a little. Mark, being the fabulous daddy that he is, took the kids out and all I had to do was get them ready a little and take a few pictures! I didn't even get to help shovel, because of my surgery. Sorry, Mark! We had a nice afternoon, and came in before freezing all of our hands and tooshies off!!!!

I made these curtains for my friend Dana's girls, the Lord helped me do it and most of the seems lined up, which was miraculous!!! Thank you!!!!

Nathan Turns Eight!!!!!

Forgot to add pictures from Thanksgiving weekend with Mom-Mom and Pappy

A candle in the pumpkin roll!

Mom-Mom and Pappy bought him a CD clock radio

The carrot cake Nathan had been requesting, I let him eat it for breakfast!!

Here is the wonderful birthday boy!!!

Karli was loving the cake and ice cream.

The gang with the birthday boy!!

Nathan finally discovering the pocket knife we gave him after many layers of boxes and wrap!

Getting excited about all the loot he was bringing in for his special day!

His buddy Josh and the gift he gave.

The Spy Gear he bought with the money Nana and Pop-Pop gave him.

The requested Pokemon cake Nathan wanted (I was pleased)

Here are some pictures of us celebrating with the

Wow, oh, wow! My first little baby turned eight years old today!!! I can hardly believe it! It feels like just yesterday, yet feels so far away at the same time. But I have so many memories of that sweet boy's short life that flood my heart and mind with joy.

It has been so fun preparing for the day...shopping for his favorites, like shrimp for shrimp scampi, Mug rootbeer, carrots for carrot cake, making and decorating his cake of choice (a Pokemon character, Sableye.) So many fun preparations!!!! This morning I let him eat the carrot cake for breakfast!! His acting class sang happy birthday to him this morning and he loved that! After lunch, I got to sit with him just the two of us and read to him the letter that I wrote to him in honor of his special day. Wow, that was special. By the time I was done, we BOTH were crying. That was a special, special time for us. Then he let me hold him. I really loved that. He is SUCH a precious boy. Then we spent some time looking through some old photo albums. He really enjoyed that.

Soon after, his friend Josh came over and it has been a party ever since, Pokemon cards, trampoline, fort, movies, Wii time, Bubbletape, special dinner, shopping at the store with birthday money, cake and ice cream and more fun!!!! It has been quite the day!!! I have enjoyed it so.

One special thing that happened was that we surprised Nathan with a pocket knife that he wanted but told him he couldn't have. We wrapped it in several packages to trick him...it worked and it was so fun to see him open each piece. He is so fun!!

We decided to let his friend sleep over so I imagine they are still having a ball in there, hopefully sleep will come soon!

I leave you with the letter I wrote to my Nathan:

Nathan,

I just wanted to take a minute to write you a Happy Birthday letter to let you know how glad I am that you were born. I remember the night I found out that there was a little baby Nathan in my belly, I was so excited to know that I was going to be a mommy!!! From the first time I laid eyes on you, I was in love. I knew you were cute then, but what I didn’t know was how much joy you would bring to my life. I could have only imagined how precious and sweet you are and how loving and tender-hearted you would become.

I have so many good memories from when you were very little…watching you swing in your swing and crawl on your belly like an army man. I remember when you would use the broom to play the guitar and all the times I would read books with you or catch you “reading” books all over the house. I loved holding you and tickling you. I loved riding in the car with the music blasting and the windows down so that you wouldn’t fall asleep in the car before we got home. I loved seeing how smart you were all those years ago, wow who would have known how smart God would make you?!! Wow, your little mind is so wonderful, I know God has great plans for you.

Thank you for all the hugs and tender ways you love me each day. Thank you for the kind and gracious ways you forgive me when I lose my temper and get angry with you. I will never forget the day in the van when I asked you to forgive me and you said, “Mom, I would forgive you for anything!” Wow, you are sweet. I know that is true, but I pray I would be a godly mommy each moment to you and all the kids.

You are a joy to my life. One of the greatest joys I have gotten to experience with you as my son was the day I got to see you get baptized. I am SO excited to know that we are brother and sister in Christ. Christ is my life and the source of my strength and joy, my whole life. I pray that that is the same for you, that would make me the happiest mother in the whole world, to know you love and serve God everyday of your life. I love hearing you read God’s Word and do your preaching times some nights! You are a special, special boy!!!!!

I love that you are my little boy and I can’t thank God enough for giving you to me EIGHT years ago today!!! I don’t really want you to get any bigger, but I know you must and I know you will grow up to be a wonderful man, as you seek God each step of the way.

I hope your birthday is filled with lots of fun and joy!!!! Mommy sure loves you and wants the best for you!!!! You are a GIFT to me!!!

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK, a MILLION TIMES!!!!

LOVE YOU FOREVER. HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY, SWEET NATHAN,

Love,

Mommy

Pumpkin Patch

Today we went to a pumpkin patch nearby for homeschoolers day. It was great b/c they gave a wonderful half price discount for us. That was a blessing!!! The kids had a great time. They jumped, slid, picked a pumpkins and painted them. It was a great!

The Most Desirable Beauty

Most people in Christian circles have heard that famous verse from Proverbs 31, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

I have thought about that verse a lot in my lifetime, all almost 34 years of it. Most of the time I thought about it to encourage myself that it didn't matter what I looked like as I struggled with a poor self-image due to being overweight or thinking that I was overweight, or having acne or being too white and not tan enough...

Other times in more recent years I have thought more intently on the charm part and thought about the way our charms are deceitful. How charms make people like me, or how I can make people like me by acting a certain way or whatever. Charms do come naturally to some people, but they tend to focus attention on us, and not the One who made us. I am kind of sick of myself, if you know what I mean. I have grown tired of caring if people affirm me or thinking about what people think of me. I am thankful for what the Lord has done in my life this year in showing me a HUGE area of pride that I had in my heart, but it seems that every day I live, I see a little more of how very much I desire the praise of man (that being, man, woman or child). But I am thankful for grace upon grace that leads me away ( I have to be led away from it every hour, mind you) from a life full of myself. I want a life full of Jesus. I read that article, "Looking Unto Jesus" by Charles Spurgeon and I am so thankful for the light that has shown on my heart. In it he talks about how the devil's work is to turn our eyes to ourselves, but the Holy Spirit's work is to turn our eyes toward Christ. I love the work of the Holy Spirit and despise the work of the evil one. How easily my eyes are turned toward me! Here is an excerpt:

"We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee."

So as far as my charms, I say let them die. I don't want to look at them. I hate them if they draw me or another away from Christ. I want only Him in my spirit. I pray that daily my flesh would die to the desire it has or the love that it has for the praise of men.

You know the next part, the "beauty is vain" part? That is what got me thinking on this today. I have in the past less than a year lost about 30 pounds and lots of inches, some due to Weight Watchers and lots due to running. For all of my life I have struggled with my weight. As a young child, I was overweight and made fun of. As a middle schooler, I decided that I "didn't want to be fat anymore" and began an exercise regimen and diet (which entailed exercise excessively eating very little food and no fat). This was the beginning of my obsession with my appearance and my hatred and fear of fat. Sadly to say, I spent all of my high school years with an eating disorder, beginning like anorexia and then becoming a bulimic for 3 years ( and fighting against that for the rest of my days).

But to make a long story short, through the course of my days I was up and down in weight and sizes for many years. And each and every one of those years, I was obsessed with the idol I had made of my body, to keep it from being fat or to rid it of fat. During some points this obsession was huge and at other times less so, but all in all my mind was stuck on me and the fear and hatred I had of being fat and my desire to be "beautiful" in the eyes of men.

Thankfully, through the help of my Almighty God, a good friend and my parents, I was rescued from bulimia, but again sadly, as most women NOT from the idol of beauty (as it partained to the size of my body).

Many years after this struggle began, I am coming to grips with things, through the strength of the Lord. Some of it probably just comes from getting older and hopefully wiser. And I know a lot of comes from the fact that I am a lot thinner than I have been in a while and I feel good about that. But in no way is a size 12 small, but for the first time in my life, I am comfortable in my own skin.

The biggest thing, though that I am seeing in this all is that "beauty is vain", really vain. I love running and I love that I feel fabulous and strong and that my body is smaller. Hearing people say, "wow, you lost a lot of weight" or "you look so good" is nice. But you know what I am learning, being on a positive side of the physical appearance thing, it still is vain. What does it matter if someone thinks I look nicer or I am in better shape than a year ago, compared to everything in life, it is nothing. I can be in shape and looking better, but if it means nothing to my hurting friend who lost a baby, or to my children as I tickle them on the couch, or, God forbid, if I find out I have cancer. BEAUTY is vain. It means NOTHING. I want to look good so that I feel good and I love feeling good around my husband (though he has been so complimentary of me at every size). But all in all, it doesn't make me a better person and it certainly doesn't make God think more highly of me.

It is good to care for the body, but it is far better to care for the soul. Both are excellent endeavors, but I should never let the one happen at the detriment of the other. Running, a healthy diet, a smaller body are not bad, they just shouldn't be my idols (which they happen to be on some days and at some moments). I should want one thing more than anything and that is to be someone who has "no other gods before me", someone who "fears the Lord".

More than anything I want to be that, "a woman who fears the Lord". I want to glory in Him and that I know Him. I want to be pleasing to Him. "A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised". If anyone praises me, let it be because I fear the Lord. And although I may be tempted to be prideful in that I fear Him, in my heart of hearts I know, that I only fear Him because by His grace He enables me to do that. I have nothing on my own to glory in save Christ and that I know Him.

Daily, I must cast down the idols of outward beauty (though not wrong in and of itself), exercise (though profitable), or whatever else I value highly, so that I seek the one thing that is of greatest importance in this life, fearing the Lord. A fool has said in his heart that there is no God, the Scripture says. But one can also be a fool by acting and thinking in a way that skews the importance of God in a life. Let me do all things in moderation, keeping the glory of God my aim, and not the glory of Theresa. Let my goal be, as I fix my eyes on Jesus, to hear Him one day say to me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant". I want to hear that more than someone telling me I have outward beauty that meets the world's standards. I want to have what is beautiful in the sight of God.

I conclude with this: In 1 Peter 3:3-5, God's Word says,

³ Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting onfine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. ⁵ For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

I will fail, I will seek the praise of men in my charms (if I have any), in my beauty (though it pales in light of so many others). But let it be true that I will repent of that nasty pride that provokes this in me and let me only seek the praise of my God and the praise of my husband, no, not for my charms or my beauty, but BECAUSE I FEAR THE LORD! Amen. Amen. Amen.

Thinking About Contentment

Well, yesterday, nap time was seeming to be a big bust around 2 o'clock, I was finding myself getting frustrated as Wednesday's nap time was a bust also. I was supposed to get a run in but I was just feeling extra stressed and at the moment that didn't even seem appealing (though it usually does).

So many thoughts were flooding my mind as I swept the floor while listening to my non-napping baby screaming on the monitor and hearing 2 of my other children who were supposed to be silently coloring, jumping on the bed where my 3 year old was supposed to be sleeping also. Some of the things were: I wish she were sleeping, I miss having more time to dedicate to each child, what should I do next?: call nap time quits and head out to the playground to enjoy the weather and make the day go by faster, feeling sorrow over losing my patience with my children...ahhhh.

In the middle of this, the overriding thought was that I wanted things to be different then they were. Well, they couldn't be. That is just how things were going in God's ordained scope of things. So, with a non-sleeping toddler, 2 misbehaving children, tons on my plate, I must be content.

For my non-sleeping toddler, I must pray and ask the Lord to help her sleep, but to not lose sleep over it myself. If she doesn't nap, it isn't the end of the world. I can turn off the monitor as Mark would have me do, and head downstairs to run just as I would have done anyway. She will be fine, maybe a little cranky, but fine nevertheless. On the brighter side, she will go to bed early...

For my 2 misbehaving children, I must do what the Lord asks me to and like He would with patience and kindness correct them. In their case, they needed spankings and that is what they got, but while I was very annoyed with them. So, in that case instead of feeling exceedingly sorrowful and wishing I hadn't done lost my temper, I must just ask the Lord and my children to forgive me and leave it all to Christ. Instead of wishing they were perfect, I need to do what it is nearest and teach their hearts. Wishing they were perfect or being discontent in their disobedience gets me nowhere. My obedience and my joyful doing of MY JOB as mother is what the Lord asks of me. What is it that I teach them? "Do all things without complaining...that you may become blameless and harmless children of God...?" I must do this myself. How many times have a heard myself either aloud or in my head complaining about something. Ugh! You don't even want to know....

For the discontent feelings that I have about not having enough time for each little one, or wishing that I had more time for "fun" things with them...well, that is all well and good, but there is nothing I can do with that except give it to God. No reveling in my discontented-ness . Just talk to God about it. I know He gave me all that He gave me and He also gave me the heart that He did. So, I just need to talk to Him about it. He says to "be anxious for nothing...let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." You know, I just realized that peace is not just the replacement for anxiety, it is also the replacement for discontent. If I find myself discontent, it is because I am not at peace with what God has allotted for me at this given juncture. Oh that would be said of me from the Lord, from my family, from my friends that I am a woman who fixes my eyes on Jesus, the source of the true contentment, and says firmly, in all things, big and little, "It is well with my soul". Oh let it be oh Lord! Change this heart and may I be heard singing daily the words to this song:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

 when sorrows like sea billows roll;   whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,   It is well, it is well with my soul.  Refrain:  It is well with my soul,   it is well, it is well with my soul.   2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,   let this blest assurance control,   that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,   and hath shed his own blood for my soul.   (Refrain)   3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!   My sin, not in part but the whole,   is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,   praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!   (Refrain)   4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,   the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;   the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,   even so, it is well with my soul. 

Fall is Upon Us!

Well, my favorite time of year is upon us...FALL~~~~ Love the cool air (well, it hasn't been as cool as I would like it yet) and the changing and falling leaves. I love the break it brings from the heat of summer and the anticipation it brings of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I took the kids out into the backyard yesterday morning and took some sweet pictures of them...Here's what I got.